This text (in the form of a webpage) was posted on the Brave Combo website for over a year. It was forced off when I linked to it. But, I save stuff, so, here are the Bucketheads -
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A few bucketheads and their aliases
Titled Members
Several list members have taken on aliases. As you get to know them better you'll begin to understand why. In the meantime, here are a few online monikers and their true identities to help you sort out who's who.
Chairman Maui,
a.k.a. Mark Davis, Chicken of Kayewood Street. Mark is the former president of the Texas Labor Party, and as such, his politics lean sharply to the left. He once commented that if he put on a Hawaiian shirt, he'd be "Chairman Maui." The name stuck. Mark has a rental property that's often inhabited by female UNT students and that's been unfairly labeled "the harem." Mark is our official rabble-rouser, who can always be counted on to stir things up if we get too quiet or get bogged down in endless on-topic threads. Mark is proud of his Irish descent and is so full of piss and vinegar he's in danger of passing a Blarney stone.
C.A.T.,
The mysterious Camille used to sign off with her initials instead of her name to safeguard her anonymity among her coworkers, who were also on the list. I guess this pretty well blows your cover, Camille. At least I didn't mention that the A and T stand for "At T.I.;" then they'd know for sure it's you.
Keeper of the Whole Lee Writ,
a.k.a. Lee Knudsen, "El Knudt," "El Borracho," and "Drunk Guy With Notebook." Lee can always be counted on to write down a complete set list when he goes to shows. He's easy to spot: he looks like G.I. Joe with a pad and pen instead of a rifle. We're not sure what's in his canteen, but it sometimes turns his tongue blue.
Puntiff Accordiana,
a.k.a. Jane Lorenzen, the Polka Pope. Can always be spotted, so to speak, at Brave Combo shows by her polka-dot attire and inability to be still. Ask her to show you her Polka Pope watch. (Then ask her to dance.) Judging by her Holy Daze posts, she'll celebrate anything.
Polkahontas, Princess of the Chickensaw,
a.k.a. Ruth Riegel. Harder to spot at shows because she's been mistaken for just about every ethnic background imaginable. But she is part Native American, so look for somebody with long dark tresses and a highly cool teenage son (Cliff the Wonder Son) who dances so fast you literally can't even see him move. Living proof that converts make the best Polkatholics, Ruth made the trek all the way from Bryan, TX, to Denton for the coronation of a pope she knew nothing about and to see a band she'd never seen before. It turned out to be her Bucket Baptism. She went from BC virgin to dyed-in-the-feathers Chicken in record time.
Prince of Dark Meat,
a.k.a. Paul/Pablo Bernal Aguirre, the Devilled Eggvocate. Tall, dark, and devilishly handsome, he drives a speed demon known as the anti-Chrysler and represents the Dark Side of the Polka Force.
S.A.C.S.,
a.k.a. Lori Young. Geez, you show up at one Brave Combo show wearing a cow suit and they never let you live it down. This acronym originally stood for Secret Agent Cow Suit; then, when her identity became known, it stood for Special Agent Cow Suit. Her recent trip across the Midwest to see the band in four cities in four nights changed the title again, this time to Stalker Anonymous Cow Suit (Carl once commented that "Lori's a wee bit obsessed"). Lori is a domestic overachiever who makes all her own costumes and homemade caramels for the band. She's crazy about cows and is a moover and shaker on the list. Ever the overachiever, Lori recently added sacred duties to her secular duties and became the Chicken of Mad Cow Diocese. Holy cow!
Irreverend Doug,
a.k.a. Doug Allison. Doug lives in the Atlanta area and proved his Bravery by proudly bearing the title "Olympic Chicken" during the '96 Summer Olympics without the official sanction of the U.S. Olympic Committee. Not one for bureaucracy, our Irreverend Doug.
Grant Inquisitor Grant!,
a.k.a. Grant Dickerson. Grant! likes to put an exclamation mark after his name. He's head of all inquisitions in the Church of the Holy Polka and in that capacity is amassing more weapons than your average Branch Davidian. His weapons include plagues of crickets and Eddie Vedder music. His most powerful weapon to date has been having Brave Combo play at his company's Christmas party, which had bucketheads of all genders and orientations groveling to become his party date (Kate Ware was the Chosen One). His latest weapon: well-timed smarm.
Left Reverend Chicken Eric Posa & Hen Monique
Another Labor Party member, Eric's a liberal in both politics and religion and is active in both spheres. Already ordained in the Universal Life Church, he's going to be a UU minister one of these days, so if you want him to officiate at your wedding, you'd better book him now before his rates go up. He might give you a discount if you book Brave Combo as the reception band. Monique is his lovely and loving wife and a former member of Chairman Maui's harem. She recently became a visionary when the true nature of the Dreamy Watson was revealed to her, appropriately enough, in a dream.
Chicken of the Sea,
a.k.a. Kate Ware, the Chosen One. Founder of the California Cloister of the Order of the Polka Chix and official poster child for Polkamanic Behavior Syndrome.
Polka Queen Garrett I,
a.k.a. Garrett Epp. A proud, ah, pansy, who demonstrated his extreme Bravery when he joined the list while we were in the midst of pansy-stomping frenzy. He hung in there with us in spite of the fact that for all he knew we were talking about stomping his kind of pansy.
Chicken F.A.J.I.T.A.,
a.k.a. Greg Fieser, Fryer of Acronyms, Jargon, Initialisms, Terminology, and Abbreviations (F.A.J.I.T.A.). Cloaked in acronymity as well as anonymity (he hasn't introduced himself to the pope yet).
Chris Humphrey,
a.k.a. Chris Humphrey. Chris Humphrey's real name is Chris Humphrey, but on the list she goes by the name Chris Humphrey. Chris Humphrey mentioned once that she really likes to see her name (Chris Humphrey) in cyberprint, so we try to work her name (Chris Humphrey) into our online conversations whenever we can. Chris Humphrey.
Val da-ree,
a.k.a. Valerie Cormier, a.k.a. Vancouver Val, Chicken of Vancouver. Val became the original Happy Wanderer on her 1997 trip to see Brave Combo in California. She sure knows a lot about Texas music for Canadian, eh?
Jack Chick-en,
a.k.a. Kip Hampton. Kip is a truly chicken-hearted soul (he even has a Chicken Limbo game). Modeling himself after the infamous Jack Chick (check out the Unofficial Jack Chick Archives web site), Kip is our most prolific polka prosyletizer and Chicken of Tractarianism.
Keeper of the Steps,
a.k.a. William Watson, so titled because he knows lots of dances. Also known as Dreamy Watson. Dance with him sometime (but please let him lead) and you'll soon know why. Great minds and chefs are at work to invent an ice cream dessert/drink in his honor.
David, C.O.X.,
a.k.a. David Cox. David proved his Bravery by hanging in there in the face of being widely outnumbered by Unitarian-Universalists on the list. Ever the visionary, he had reported seeing "signs," which appeared to the unenlightened as some "Duck X-ing" road signs near a park in his neighborhood, but he of course recognized the polka/poultry message from On High. He's now known as the Chicken of X-ing (C.O.X.) and the Chicken of Presbyteria.
Tempura Chicken
a.k.a. Isao Motegi. I don't think he ever actually subscribed to the list, but he posted a message to the band. We didn't have a diocese in Japan yet, and who better than a Japanese conjunto musician?
Con-queso-dor of the Las Crucesades
a.k.a. Ryan Clarke. Ryan left the list as soon as we made him a Chicken. But since he lives in the pope's home town of Las Cruces, New Mexico, and since his title is so punnerful, I decided to include him in the official roster anyway.
Most Exalted Bitbuckethead,
David Carter, Defender of the Faith, who vanquished the evil spammer by wielding his wizard wand of technology. He's also the list owner and made all this insanity possible. Thanks, David.